I didn't die on Mother's Day. This life is cruel. I want to have hope for the future but I don't really. All I really dare to hope for is the end. The end of this misery. I've wished for the end for more than 20 years and it still hasn't come. I haven't done anything good in this life. I made five kids but the only one that's mine has turned out horrible. So horrible that no one else wants him anymore. All I've done in my life is raise a horrible person. Dad says be patient... Jake will learn eventually. Boys are slow learners. Anthony turned out awesome. But Anthony wasn't as bad as Jake. He wasn't aggressive like Jake, he wasn't as greedy or selfish, Anthony was a good kid. I don't know what to do for Jacob. I've failed him. I know that's why Rob took Ellie from me. He doesn't want her to turn out like Jake... How can I blame him?
All I ever wanted was to be a mom. I failed. I truly am worthless.
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