I'm cold so I imagine his arms around me...  I remember his warmth.  But then I remember my Ellie saying she misses me and asking me to come see her and I cry.  I wish I could tell her the truth.  I want to see you, Ellie!  I want to hold you and kiss you and hug you.  But your Dad won't let me.  He thinks he is God and nothing I ever did for him was good enough.  All the years I took care of you and everyone else weren't good enough.  He won't let me see you again baby girl.  I want to.  Oh how I want to.