Mother's Day

I hate this day.  I hate so much now.  I am so tired of hating.  I'm tired of so much.  I've spent most of my life taking care of other people and ending up with absolutely nothing.  I'm tired of it all.  t I give everything and get nothing.  I'm fed up with being selfless.  I'm tired of letting everyone I know make me feel worthless.  I am not a bad person.  I could ruin so many lives with the things I know but I don't.  Because all I've ever wanted is to help people.  So I'm not perfect.  Big fucking surprise.  Neither is anyone else.  Why am I the one who suffers though?  Fuck all of them.  I should have chosen a different path, one where I won no matter what.  I should have taken more and given nothing.  But I just never had it in me.  I hope I die soon.  I wish this life were over already.  I'm tired of living through it all.  All I want now is death.  Wouldn't it be poetic to die on mother's day?  The woman who had no mother, the woman who lost all her daughters, the woman whose son only cared about himself - mother's day would be the perfect death for me.  I hope I die today.